Chief Executive Junkie: The fabulous, scandalous foxfire.
Wilkommen, bienvenue, and welcome to junkie_lust—a disreputable community for junkies and those who love them. Herein, Junkies and Lust Monkeys are invited to post embarrassing and highly amusing stories pertaining to the use of opiates, the best ways to prevent abcesses and to repair damaged veins, and poems or love songs to one’s favorite ab fab Junkie. There are only twelve (!) rules for members:
01) Junkies must be fucked up when posting entries. 02) Junkies and Lust Monkeys must have read the following books before posting entries:
a) Junkie by William S. Burroughs. b) Cain’s Book by Alexander Trocchi. c) Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh. d) Candy by Luke Davies. e) Requiem for a Dream by Hubert Selby. f) Smack by Melvin Burgess. g) The Man with the Golden Arm by Nelson Algren.
04) Failure to read these books will result in summary ignorance. 05) Members of junkie_lust must use clean rigs.
a) Either members must procure clean rigs from a needle exchange program that Republicans hate. b) Or members must steal them from a hospital. c) Or members must write a fake prescription for rigs. d) Or members must procure a prescription for rigs from a corrupt doctor.
06) Members may not pay less than $75 nor more than $160 for a gram of chiva. 07) Members using black tar or Mexican gunpowder will be eternally banned and made fun of by other members. 08) Members posting entries may not nod off while said entry is being posted. 09) Meth monsters need not apply: Your breath stinks, your teeth are rotten, and those bugs crawling on you are imaginary. 10) Lust Monkeys should bear in mind that sex with a Junkie is hugely problematic. 11) All Junkies and Lust Monkeys, male or female, must have sex with the moderator at some point. 12) All of these rules are really stupid, and should probably be ignored.
Basically, my little love muffins, there’s this: Please don’t attempt to buy or sell drugs of any type in this community (that’s what poorly lit street corners are for, you knuckleheads); please do not provide information about the acquisition of dope, even if it’s a really good score; please don’t do anything of a legally compromising nature—whatever the hell that means—which might result in the suspension of this community; please make all entries Friends Only so as to keep the prying eyes of anal-retentive yahoos like John P. Walters far away from us; and, finally, please have fun!
"The nice thing about being a heroin addict is that you either have no problems or one big one." —Richard Schuldenfrei
Remember: If it was good enough for William S. Burroughs and Bela Lugosi, it's good enough for us!